My Most Profound Experience to Date

09/15/2021 -I’ve experienced small synchronicities for a couple years, now. They usually come in the form of running numbers on the clock or license plates I see on the road. Nothing really major and nothing that I can truly describe or interpret as a definite sign or message from the universe. I’m writing today to tell you about one that I had 4 days ago that completely blew my mind! I had been doing my manifestation and meditation work a little different as of late (I’ll write about that in a different post) and I know that what I experienced 4 days ago was a result of my new routine and specifically asking for the Universe to communicate with me.

I need to preface this post by explaining that for over 10 years of my young adult life, I was an athiest. I thought that when you die everything just stops. No more you or anything that resembles your current consciousness, even in a different form. Just an end to you. The thought of this sudden, never-ending nothingness, a ceasing to exist, scared the living…EVERYTHING out of me. It was the worst fear I have ever experienced. Those were some of the darkest moments of my life. I used to wake up in the middle of the night thinking about death and sitting up in bed consumed with fear and anxiety.

There were times when I would go to my husband for comfort during these breakdowns, and he’d grab my hand, take me into our tiny bar downstairs, pour the 2 of us a shot of tequila and we’d take it together. I’d choke mine down—because I hate tequila—look up at him and ask, “How is it that this thought doesn’t scare you?”. He’d smile and tell me, “Because how do you even know that what happens after death is going to be a bad thing?” He was right. I didn’t know for sure that what happens when we die would be “bad”. But I also had NOTHING to prove that it would be “good”. I needed to know. This is why I ended up starting on the journey of meditation. Long story short, I ended up finding my answer, knowing it for sure in my heart and losing my fear of death completely. It was one of the most liberating and freeing realizations of my life.

Now back to my story;

My husband got me tickets to see Alanis Morissette for Christmas 2019. Needless to say the concert was cancelled and rescheduled for this year. I had such an awesome time at the concert! Jagged Little Pill was released 2 years before I started high school and was like a soundtrack to my youth. It brings up so many memories and feelings of nostalgia, both good and bad, when I listen to it. I danced and sang along in a state of joy and reflection the whole evening.

This year is the 20 year mark of my high school graduation. As I sang and danced along with the crowd I thought about all the experiences I’ve had through those 20 years. Some really awesome! Some really hard. But I got through all of them. I was able to see, during the concert, that everything I went through gave me character, made me stronger, made my life rich and turned me into a fearless woman. I sang along to the lyrics of You Learn and knew for certain that I had become the fearless women I always wanted to be, and I was proud of myself!

Obviously I wasn’t the only person singing along to every word of every song Alanis Morissette sang at that concert. It made me particularly curious about the crowd, that night. Not only do I love hearing large crowds of people all singing in unison, but I also wondered how many others were having a similar experience to my own; of nostalgia and memories. I paid particular attention to the energy of the crowd, expanding my awareness to the very edges of the large group to try to encompass and sense all of that amazing human energy. Then I took all of that energy and tried to focused it down through my feet, grounding it into mother earth. I became consumed with happiness a handful of times and felt some tears of joy welling up in my eyes. I’d take a few breaths to calm myself down, so I didn’t burst into the big ugly crying I could feel bubbling in my throat. I’ve always been embarrassed to cry in front of people because, to me, it’s such an intimate moment of release. I prefer to cry my tears of joy alone.

The last song that she played was Thank U. Thank U was never one of my favorite songs. Boy, how that changed in an instant!

Right as the last song began, the sky opened up and it began to rain. Not being able to run for shelter through the crowd, and the rain being light and not soaking everybody, I decided to cover my head with the plaid shirt I had tied around my waist. It did the trick.

As the song went on I noticed behind the band, on stage, was a very large, digital screen that was showing these beautiful twitter posts from people describing what they were thankful for. They scrolled through one by one as Alanis Morissette sang Thank U. Fitting! Not really interested in the song I happily read each tweet as it came across the large screen.

Before I knew, it I was becoming overwhelmed with joy again. Such moving tweets expressing words of thanks! And just as you may have suspected, the tears welled up again. Just as I was taking my first deep breath to calm myself, the profound hit:

I felt this unfamiliar wave come over me that tingled from head to toe and was accompanied by the words, “Your head is covered. No one can see you.”, as if someone had just whispered in my ear. Then, all at once, I thought, “The rain is for me! So I can release this!” This happened milliseconds before she sang the verse, “How ’bout unabashedly balling your eyes out?” and then “How ’bout not equating death with stopping?” ❤ ❤ ❤

All the nostalgia and reflection on myself and where I’ve come from, all culminated in that swift moment, and I knew I was meant to release it all down into mother Gaia. The universe was giving me this gift! Overwhelmed by the swift series of events that had just happened, I let go and ugly-cried my ass off, under my plaid shirt, in the rain, so overwhelmed with joy! So full of awe and thanks for what had just happened! And no one could see me have my intimate moment.

Had it not been raining at that exact time, that release would never have happened.

That was one of the most surreal and profound moments I have ever experienced! I left that concert knowing that the Universe was a consciousness that I can interact with. That will interact with me. And I am eternally thankful for that absolutely beautiful moment!

Thank U 🙂

***I am not a professional and what I am sharing should not be taken as medical advice. I am sharing my own personal experiences.